The Relief of Breathing {Open, Outlaws}

[Roe]

Roe could sense the immediate sense of surprise from her reaction. As much as he could, though, it did did not seem to be an unwelcome one on her part. In fact, the way that she returned it, it seemed that it was downright pleasant to her. Although her immmediate verbal reaction was muffled by his mouth,she mad no further attempt to voice any displeasure. She was quite light and she swung quite effortlessly over the floor, and jut as importantly, she was not fighting him in the least, which just served to encourage him all the more. Besides, not musch encouragement was needed, since, after all, she was quite beautiful.

His embrace enclosed her completely, and he could feel her heartbeat right through his own chest, and he wondered what she was able to feel, as well as what she was able to think. Was this what she had wanted. Every move and action that she had taken and made seemed to be meant to put him, and them, in this position. He wondered if she knew how impossible she had been to resist, despite how he knew how he had thought he sheuld react toward her. She obviously had had different ideas, though. He could see, now, though, with the look in her eyes, that she was questioning what she had done, and he wondered what that meant about what they would do next.

Despite the look of hesitation in her eyes, he sensed nothing physically from her that she wanted to be anywhere different from where she was now, and perhaps as significant that she wanted to be doing anything different. He, at least for now, ignored any thought of stopping and gently but firmly applied his lips to hers, refusing to let her come up for air until she fought for the opportunity.

Finally .... she did just that .... pushing off against his face, and finally gathered up enough breath to ask a question. She did have a somewhat dazed and lank expresson in her eyes as she asked, "Is this...right?" He had not yet let her out of his firm, but affectionate embrace. "I did not know that it was a question of being right or wrong. Besides, what exactly is wrong about this. I'm afraid that you are the one who started us down this path, and it finally reached a point where I couldn't resist you anymore." Suddenly he felt her face bury itself into the tender skin of his lower neck, slowly kissing him, and he felt what little remained of hi resistence melting away.

[Thea Linnet]

Despite Roe's arms around her, Thea let her head fall back onto the sun-warmed grass, her long, creamy neck exposed as she took a much needed breath. When she inhale, she caught, for the first time, his scent. It was the smell of warm leather, mixed with the strange metallic smell of metal. But underneath was something deeper, a scent she couldn't place, and it was intoxicating.

She lifted her head and kissed him firmly, a hand snaking around to pull him closer to her. She was suddenly back in the Market, but now there was no control, no Isabella, no one to stop her or him. There was no one to remind her that she had a reputation, an innocence to keep. In the shady cover of Sherwood, they could do anything and no one would know. In a way, that frightened her.

"Everything about this is wrong," she groaned, but didn't pull back. "I...we are unmarried, I'm barely twenty years. This is all kinds of inappropriate." And although she did believe what she was saying, each word was separated by a sweet, quick kiss. Butterflies swept through her again, making her even more sensitive to his embraces. Where their skin touched felt like fire, every little kiss felt like a strike of lightening to Thea. She wanted this, but didn't at the same time. So now, she looked to Roe to make that choice.

[Roe]

They settled on to the grassy surface of the clearing. Roe's arms still encircled Thea's body, but her back was now resting on the surface of the grass. Roe was on his knees, supporting the rest of his body with his forearms and elbows that were currently betweenThean and forest floor. It gave both of them a chance to catch their breaths and perhaps have their rational minds catch up with their bodies, or it was merely a chance for their bodies to recover before round 2. He could tell, though,that she was inhaling deeply. It almost seemed as Though she was trying to drink in a scent that she had just noticed. The only scent that he noticed was Thea's perfume, and it did nothing to encourage him to slow down and take it easy. It was quite enticing and intoxicating, in fact.

He had calmed down enough, though, to keep his face and lips separate from hers, and although it was an awkward stance, allowed him to admire her features from quite a close range. He noticed that despite her relatively tough demeanor, he features were quite delicate-looking, and she seemed, for the moment, to be quite vulnerable. As he was admiring her, she suddenly reached up with her face and planted a deep kiss and with her hand pulled his head and the rest of him down on to her.

They rolled over slightly, so that his full weight was not pressing down on her. "Everything about this is wrong .... I .... we are unmarried, I'm barely twenty years old. This is all kinds of inappropriate." It seemed as though each word was separated by another kiss, each seemingly more intense than the last. It ran through his mind that what she was saying completely contradicted what she was saying. Was it simply a case of her emotions overruling her reason, and could he go further, knowing how she really felt? It took all of the self-control he could muster, but he knew he had to give her a choice. "If this is not what you really want, I'm not about to force you down that road. What do you really want?" He knew, however, that if she insisted to go down the path they were on, he would not be able to stop himself and say no, so this was her last opportunity to decide what she really wanted."If what you want is me, you should know that I am now at your mercy, and quite defenceless. As I am now I would not be able to resist anything you would ask of me. So, please be merciful, whether you decide that you want me, or whether you don't,", as he stroked her hair with his hands as he ran his fingers slowly through it.

[Thea Linnet]

Thea curled into Roe's chest, finding it easier to think if his lips weren't so temptingly close to hers. Wasn't this what she wanted? Hadn't she thought about this since their trip to Birmingham? Lying next to him, it felt right. Then why did something feel wrong. She wanted Roe, God how she wanted Roe, but something was stopping her from going too far.

"Weren't you brought up on the teachings of the Church? Isn't all of this wrong by their writings?" She spoke slowly and quietly, trying to convince herself more than Roe. "If...this happened, we couldn't go back to being friends, and you said yourself that you wanted to stay friends." Perhaps in more words and maybe that was a more direct version, but it was what she'd understood.

She put a hand on his chest, the rough cotton providing little protection from the heat coming from his body, and realized what was holding her back; a simple four letter word that Thea put too much emphasis upon. Love. Her eyes widened and she looked up at Roe, but quickly looked away. Sure, they'd said things to each other, my lovely wife, she said she loved his company, but that word was never spoken. Had she ever said it to him? Could she ever say it to him? Did she love Roe, and more importantly, did Roe love her?

She was afraid to ask, fearing the worst outcome. And she couldn't ask him about marriage again, since to her it seemed like he was done with that idea. She wondered what he would say if she asked him either or her questions. His fingers ran through her hair, the sensation soothing, though it made her shiver.

Do you love Roe? she asked herself, looking into his waiting gaze. Curled up next to him, feeling his body against hers, it was hard not to."Yes," she said quietly, answering her own question. "But not yet." In a way it answered Roe's question as well. She wanted him, them, but not yet. She'd only known Roe for a few months, but there seemed to be more of a connection. Can you fall in love with someone in such a short period of time?

She pressed her lips against his in a soft, gentle kiss then looked at him evenly. Her face turned red before she even spoke as she asked, "D-do you love me?" she said it quietly, half hoping he hadn't heard her.

There was silence, then she blinked as if something occurred to her. Suddenly furious with herself, she tried to untangle herself from Roe. Why had she asked such a stupid question? Why could she never think before she said anything? Her face burned with embarrassment as she struggled against Roe's firm grasp, wanting to get on her horse and lock herself in her room.

[Roe]

Roe noticed how Thea was curling her body into his. He had to admit that it was a comforting turn of events. He had a feeling, though, that it had an ulterior motive …. He had the feeling that she didn’t want to look him directly in the eyes. Or was it she was afraid it would be too easy an opportunity for him to kiss her again. The real question, though, is where there went from here. Did they take the next step, or did they stop in an effort to stay friends. If they stopped now, would it ever be possible to simply go back and just be friends? …. He wondered..

What kind of question was that he wondered? It definitely sounded like she was looking for an outside justification about why they should stop and how what they were doing was wrong. “Well …. yes and no …. It wasn’t like we had our own pew in the parish chapel. It wasn’t like we were being trained as monks either! We were peasants, and it was necessarily expected that we go through formal marriages. Church was meant at least as must to ingrain respect for the authority and the natural order of things. Many of us had not even been taught to read, so the writings weren’t necessarily significant. However, we understood was expected, and what was right and wrong, in the eyes of God. So ….. are you saying you would rather be friends than be something more. There is nothing wrong with that, especially with me being your elder by several years. Its just natural that this would feel more comfortable with someone closer to your age and experience.”

What exactly was she thinking, he wondered? She seemed to be a woman who was being tormented by two opposing views. She seemed to be looking for a way to back out from where they had gone so far, while she also seemed to have feeling s for him at the same time. Did she just desire him, or was she in the process of falling in love with? Or had she already fallen in love with him. Personally, he doubted it. If she had already fallen for him there would not be this hesitancy. However, he could not blame her too much either. How exactly did he feel about her? Even he was not sure of things on his part either.

Suddenly, he felt her little hand touch, press, and handle the fabric of the material that covered his chest. It seemed like almost an eternity that she analyzed the material of his shirt, and by extension, the body that lay beneath it. It was slowly building up a feeling and a set of sensations within his body. He did not know exactly how much more he would be able to take from her before he could not bear it any more. Suddenly, though, he heard her say the word ‘Yes.’ Yes, but not yet to what? Then, after thinking, obviously, for several minutes, she asked what was on her mind now, after she gave him a last kiss: "D-do you love me?"

He smiled at the quietness and the shyness of the question. She seemed the most like a young girl, and vulnerable, when she said it. He noticed it for what it did not say. She did not say that she loved him, she asked if he loved her. It was a defensive statement …. a sign that she did not feel safe enough to make a commitment. She was not ready until she was sure of him. It appeared that she was not ready. Appearance, though, he knew, could be deceiving. ”Thea, milady, I have known many comrades who when asked such a question would have answered it in the way they thought you would want to hear. Their designs, however, might have been one night in bed and its associated pleasure, or even to confiscate your lands and property as their own, if and when they became your husband, before casting you aside. Fortunately, I am not one of those men."

"I, of course, love you as a friend, and would defend you against all who would threaten you. You excite me more than just about any woman I have ever known, and if you would force the issue upon me, I doubt whether I could refuse you …. but that is something physical. I know that my feelings for you go beyond mere friendship, but to ask whether that is love I could not tell you yet. We have not spent enough time addressing the question, since we have not known each other very long. It coulddevelop into the full blossom of love, and if it did, I would consider myself to be among the most fortunate of souls. However, I’m sure that’s not the answer you were looking for, and I would quite understand if you did not want to take this meeting any farther than its gone already,” and he leaned back to take in whatever reaction she decided to display, good or bad.

[Thea Linnet]

Thea stopped struggling and looked up at Roe as he sat back. She rubbed her cheek and swore quietly as it met wetness. Wiping at the small tears, she groaned. Embarrassment always went hand-in-hand with tears for Thea. She sniffed and laughed quietly. "Where can I find these comrades, then? They sound like keepers."

"Friendship seems so much easier, doesn't it? Might not be the most...satisfactory, but it's easier." She said with a sigh. Of course, with certain people out of the way, friendship would be her second choice. But people didn't vanish according to her desires.

"I, of course, love you as a friend, and would defend you against all who would threaten you. You excite me more than just about any woman I have ever known, and if you would force the issue upon me, I doubt whether I could refuse you," Thea grinned weakly and gave Roe a quick slap on the arm.

"Enough with the compliments, I have some catching up to do." She unconsciously twirled a strand of her hair as she digested what he'd said.

"You certainly have a way with words, Roe. That has to be the nicest, kindest rejection I have ever heard." But it wasn't a rejection, really. It was more of a hiatus, a plea for her patience and her understanding. She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, thinking. He wasn't discarding her, and once again the way he worded it made it sound like she was much more than she actually was. She looked up at Roe and knew that there was no man she admired more than him at the moment.

"Can we try to go back to how things were before this? Maybe even before Birmingham and the Market? We'll be friends, and I won't knowingly...distract you. And we'll see what comes of it?" She exhaled loudly and nodded. This agreement seemed easier than the one before it, though the terms were still the same. She'd gotten a few things, quite a few things, off her chest and now understood Roe better.

"Yes, I think my return to the castle would be a good idea, since I doubt I-" she stopped with a little laugh "-either of us have the self-control given what just happened." She stood slowly and got her vest from the grass. It was warm from having been out in the sun and as she re-did the ties, she looked to Roe. "Thank you," she said quietly. "For a lot of things." Pulling on her boots, she walked over to Roe but stopped in front of him. She opened her mouth to speak, her brows pulling together then sighed. With a little shake of her head, she stuck out her hand to Roe. "I'll see you at the castle, then."

[Roe]

Although had quick powers of emotional recovery, it was obvious that she was still a woman, and in some ways a young girl. Her easy tears were proof oft hat. Although he tried not to let it show, such tears pained Roe a great deal, despite the fact that as a soldier, he had trained himself to be immune to such things. "Finding them is not the problem, milady, surviving them would be the trick."

Roe knew that her thoughts had been heading in this direction. Something had suddenly pushed her, desperately pushed her in the direction of friendship. She was as afraid of commitment .... at least physical commitment .... as any man he had seen was afraid of emotional commitment, that he had ever seen. "Appearances can be deceiving, my former wife. Right now it might seem easier, compared to the alternative. However, when and if we are in close proximity, its not likely that its going to feel easy, its likely to feel very difficult," he stated matter-of-factly. "However, in this case, I think that I must defer to the noble lady's wishes and desires."

Roe reacted quickly with mock pain and expression of hurt, as a well as a belated smile, to her slap. "They be not compliments .... facts are facts. What do you mean .... a way with words. I just say things as they are, besides I'm not a man of letters or words. I'm a crusader .... a man of action .... right? Its just you aren't comfortable with my actions going any farther, eh?" Finally, he noticed that she uddenly looked up at him with the strangest of looks he thought .... one that he couldn't quite read and wondered what that was all about.

"Oh milady .... we can try and do that, and we probably should, but you simply can't turn the clock back. I'm afraid we'll never look at each other quite the same again. We'll never simply be friends .... we'll be something more than that I expect, just perhaps not lovers, but somewhere in-between. I'm afraid, my dear Thea, that as long as I can see you, or smell you, or sense you in some way .... you will always distract me, knowingly or not." She approached him, after she had retrieved and re-fastened her vest and after an uncomfortable moment, extended her hand and said, "I'll see you at the castle, then.". However, he ignored the hand, saying "No, that simply won't do for a farewell," and he reached down with a light kiss fully on her lips. "All the best to you and to what might of been .... the least I can do, though, is to lead you out of the forest .... lets be off," and he turned to take the bridle of his horse and lead her on her way.

[Thea Linnet]

She sighed and shook her head at Roe. "No matter how many times I tell myself I'm wrong and what I'm doing is wrong, you always speak as if the blame falls on you. Do you often take the blame for others?" She smiled when he told her how distracting she was. She wondered if he knew how distracting he was.

"Well, in between sounds fine to me. The gray area between right and wrong. I suppose I've been walking the line for a while now..." she looked over at her horse and sighed, turning back to Roe. He ignored her hand and instead gave her a final kiss. From under his lips, Thea smiled. How many times had she had a 'final kiss' with Roe? Too many, but knowing this one might be real, she returned it gently. "Okay," she whispered to herself.

Mounting her horse, she followed him and Sherfore slowly, thinking. Well, waiting really, for the pain of rejection or some sort of sadness to come. She was starting to feel it, but it wasn't as bad as she would have thought. Nudging her horse lightly, she came up beside Roe and asked, "All the best to you, Roe. And whatever could have been." With a small sigh, she looked down at her saddle, thinking about how strange the words sounded.

[Roe]

Roe thought that there were probably some things that the young lady would never understand about him. "You need to learn your lessens better, milady. First of all, don't you know that the blame for most major and minor problems lies with men? I learned long ago not to waste time or energy arguing the point, especiaslly with women, since I knew I'd get the blame anyway," he laughed.

"Yes, many times I do take the blame for others. I had a lot of experience with it during the Crusades. I was often responsible for sending men to places where they didn't return. Fortunately, I don't have those responsibilities these days, but old habits do die hard. Taking the blame sometimes just becomes a habit," he shrugged.

Well, he saw, at least she still accepted compliments about her appearance well at least. She also seemed to accept the idea of theirs having a relationship that was a bit beyond a friendship, but not too much beyond. He was also glad to see that she was willing to return his kiss. He wondered, though, was it really going to be their last one?

Long ago he had accepted the idea that it was unlikely that he would ever be in any kind of lasting relationship with a woman. He had come as close as you could to disproving that notion, but he had not crossed the line. If he was not willing to cross the line with her, was it likely that he ever would? He doubted it.

"A wise man once told me never to ponder such things. He told me that it was a waste of time. He said that things he either existed or they didn't, and that we shouldn't waste time and energy on things that could have been. Well .... in any case .... I wish you the best .... you deserve more than I could give you. My advice, though is to avoid nobles, especially when it comes to marriage. Most will likely be attracted by your fortune and not feelings of affection. So .... do be careful. I won't always be around to protect your interests." He lead them out on well-worn paths that he had known since he was a boy. He knew, at least, that this was the one place on Earth he truly belonged. A part of him was sad that he did not have a future with Thea, but another part was happy that she was likely to be better off without him.

[Thea Linnet]

Thea rolled her eyes and scoffed at Roe; this argument again. She groaned but didn't say anything, or at least tried not to. Unfortunately, her mouth reacted before her mind and she blurted, "How? How come I deserve more than you? What makes you such a horrible person?" Though she had spoken, the words weren't as harsh as she would have thought. Instead, her anger and frustration were checked and it became just a question. Not spoken softly, her tone of voice demanded an answer.

"Am I to believe that you will not pursue any other women because you think you aren't worth enough. Or am I an exception? Is all womankind going to be deprived of a man because he doesn't have the courage to accept the things he's done? You find it so hard to forgive yourself, yet other men, just like you, have done far worse and allow themselves to enjoy the life they have. But you choose to live in the past, regret you mistakes and allow that to affect someone else's life?" She spoke quickly but forcefully, knowing they had had this conversation before. But one thing Thea hated was when people thought lowly of themselves. If you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? Thinking like Roe was, in Thea's mind, was the best way to end up alone.

An apology almost spilled from her lips, but she fought it down. She was not going to apologize for that. She wanted to know the truth, to hear him say that he thought he wasn't worth enough, just so she could knock some sense into him.

[Roe]

Roe saw the eyes roll and could feel the retort coming. After all, they had talked about this before, It was not as if she didn't know how he felt, or did she? He certainly had gauged how she felt by now. He knew that he had a lot of ability to kill, to destroy. It was not something that he valued highly, not something that he had been taught to value as a child and a young man. He had been a noble .... had had it taken away at a young age .... and then had earn back a knighthood, but in a foreign land as a foreigner, not as an Englishman.

The fat of the matter was that, for the most part, he believed in other people and their dreams, he just didn't believe in himself or his dreams. He could fight to defend another's life and/or their dreams, but not his own. so, his number one goal in life was simply to survive .... to survive to another day. Those who had not lived the live of surviving day-by-day just had no concept, he thought. That was the tie outside of the time they that he had spent with him, in his youth, that tied him to Robin of Locksley .... the life they had endured .... although separately in the Holy Land.

It was something that the average noble could not understand. Although Thea was an extraordinary young woman, she had lived that average life of a noble, and probably could never understand Roe, as a result. Suddenly, though, the sharp words came out of Thea's mouth. It wasn't the words really, it was the tone and the sanctimonious way they came out, and Roe responded quickly, stopping, and flaring with anger. "You speak of things that you have no knowledge about, and therefore are ignorant of. You are a fine and beautiful woman of the noble class, in wealth if not necessarily in title. The world is an open door to you now, for you to sample at your leisure."

"I was born into the nobility, but had it taken away. All I should have been was a lowly village carpenter and woodsman .... and along with that be a husband and father .... that would have been enough for me. However, the fates made me into something else .... something that I was taught as a boy was vile and evil. I learned to destroy for no other good reason than to just destroy. I learned to kill ..... not just men in armor .... but women and children as well."

"Now .... some men may be able to come home and forget all that as they sit home by their hearth and home .... but I was not made that way. If you can't figure that out or accept it .... well .... that;s your problem and not mine. My only solution has been to drive both those memories as well as the ones of the fair-haired young lad I was when I left, down deep. All it leaves is a fairly cold person, who is somewhere between youth and middle age, letting his life play out. If you can't accept me ..... even as a friend ..... for how I am now .... I'm sorry. And I haven't said so much about this ever before .... so don't expect me to go through it ever again!"

He listened to her next questions, as he leaned up against a tree, holding the bridle of his horse. He wondered how truthful he should be with her, and then he responded. "I really have no idea, other than I have no plans to pursue anyone, whether I am worthy or not. If it happens it happens. It will not happen if they don't accept who I am, or at least act like they do. As such, I don't think romantic affairs are very likely in my future. Most will more desirable of younger mates, with less darkness in their souls than mine, don't you think? Yes .... you are quite 'exceptional', and well deserving of good man."

He paused momentarily, laughing, "The problem is that I have accepted that I have done those things .... the problem is that they are so wrong. It does not take courage, and it is not for me to forgive. That will have to come from others, and from a higher power in the end .... perhaps a higher power than even Thea herself," he smiled.

"And just whose life am I affecting? Actually my role in the castle now fits me and fits me well. I operate alone and I'm not in a position where I can really hurt anyone, since I am alone, which is as it should be. And if I have to sacrifice myself to save someone else, I can do so without putting the lives of others at risk. And when I am no longer needed I can go back to the Forest as an outlaw or perhaps return to Locksley as a carpenter when all of this business is finished. What could be better than that, eh?"

[Thea Linnet]

Thea's head whipped around to face Roe, her eyes cold. "Well then, if I'm so ignorant, explain." She hissed. His voice was harsh when he spoke, and in a way she was thankful for that. She wasn't allowing herself to crumble this time, to feel sorry for him, to immediately apologize for her rash words. His original comment sparked her anger and now his tone of voice fueled it.

"So you just suppress everything you've done in hopes it will vanish one day? Roe, that does not work! You're an idiot for thinking it will! I've made that mistake before, and it's the most foolish thing someone can do! All the things you try to forget just bubble beneath the surface until, one day, it becomes too much." Suddenly her thoughts turned to her late parents, sorrow filling her chest. For the second time that day she could feel hot tears on her cheeks. They fell silently, thankfully, but even through the tears her eyes were harsh.

"Don't you dare laugh!" She snapped. If he was so convinced he was worth nothing, she'd let him hear it. "You're a monster, you know that? You killed innocent people, destroyed families. You are no better than the soulless man who killed my father. You're right, you don't deserve anything." She leaned down to face Roe and let him openly see her tears. "Is that what you really want to hear? Then fine, you vile creature." She straightened and wiped her cheeks clean with a sniff.

"I'm not sorry." She told him with a glare. "Because you can just suppress these memories, can't you? You'll just forget all of this, forget me, this conversation. It's a good thing you've had so many years experience doing it, Rober'. Go ahead, be alone, die alone for all I care. It's great to know I made such a great impact on you. Forget about me, fine. Just know that all of us are blessed with such a wonderful gift." Her vision was blurred, but she knew they were on the road to the castle. She kicked her horse to a gallop and rode away from Roe.

[Roe]

Roe saw her head flip around suddenly, and asked himself silently why he always seemed to get involved with the headstrong women, first Isabella and now Thea. He could tell by the tone in her voice that she was well beyond the point of understanding or of even wanting to understand. The sudden hiss in her voice was quite educational as well. "If I have to go to the trouble of explaining it at this point, I'm afraid it would be a waste of time. Besides, I wouldn't want to unnecessarily burden your ladyship."

Perhaps if she took some time to think before she spoke she would have a better chance at having some understanding .... not pity, just understanding. It was at times like these, he thought, that she acted and spoke the most like an immature teenager. Still angry he returned fire in kind, "No I suppress everything because its my pain and nobody else's, and I've never seen the need to share that pain. What good would that do ... would it change any of what has already happened ... no .... will it make into a better man. I'm sure you would say nothing is capable of doing that, eh? Of course I'm an idiot. Did you just figure out that startling piece of information. Well .... congratulations for your brilliant insight!" Suddenly he saw some tears appear in her eyes, but he had great doubts that they were meant for him in any way. At any rate, she cleared them quickly enough.

Within moments, though, she had recovered, and was once again going at his throat, at least figuratively. She apparently had a lot that had built up inside her and she seemed determined to get it out. It wasn't nice, but he didn't disagree with its contents. "I don't know if you've always believed that of me and are just letting it out now, or if you've just come to the realization now. Whichever it is, I'm glad that, finally, you see me as I am. Yes .... I am vile, a monster, a murderer, a destroyer of people and families. I don't deserve anything, least of all someone like you. It doesn't matter if its what I want to hear or not. The truth what the truth is, nothing more and nothing less. Least of all, I am nothing cry over. You have a wonderful life and future ahead of you. Make sure you grab onto it and don't let go."

She just couldn't stop and end the convesation right their, though, could she. She had to drag him through the muck just a bit farther, just for old times sake. "No, Thea, those memories, no memories can be just suppressed. I live with my memories, both good and bad, just as other men do, for the rest of their natural lives. That's especially the case with you, since you are quite an exceptional young woman. I hope you meet as exceptional a young man and marry and have a fulfilling life and family. Yes... you are deserving. I had my chance at such a life thrown out when I was 17. Why .... thank you .... that's such a pleasant parting sentiment," he spoke partly in humor and partly in sarcasm.

"Just remember to let invite me when your joyous wedding day approaches," he yelled as he horse galloped off. "I expect I will see her in the castle or the town from time to time. I would guess that this means the end of all friendly relations," he said to himself with some sadness. He knew in his heart that she was better off as distant from him as possible, and he was safer if she was separate from him as well. He decided not to follow her, but to return to Nottingham by a different road, knowing it was best if they did not cross paths again.

[Thea Linnet]

Thea's throat felt thick and heavy but she managed to yell some choice phrases back at Roe as she rode away from him. His sarcasm stung and when he spoke of her brilliant insight she had wanted nothing more than to slap him across the face. But instead, she'd kept a white-knuckled grip on the reins and rode off.

He could have at least tried to defend himself against her accusations, but no, he took them all in stride, congratulating her on the discovery of his true personality. It was insane to just accept such insults! Well, then fine, Thea thought, if you're so convinced, then so am I.

Then he told her to have a wonderful life, get married to an equally wonderful man and have a family. He had to give her some sort of advice, which she didn't need or want. She'd marry whoever she wanted, she didn't need him to tell her that. And most of all she sure as hell didn't need his permission. And, oh course he'd get an invitation to her wedding. She'd let him know exactly what he gave up on. It was a harsh thought, but she was beyond reason now.

She slowed as something occurred to her. Now not only were there bad feelings between Isabella and herself, but she and Roe too. The only guests at the castle, her only possible companions, and they all hated each other. A sob echoed through the forest as she realized she was going to be alone. She wanted Runner, or her mom or dad, even Liam, a boy from her childhood. What she wanted was a friend, or even someone impartial.

The castle was uninviting as she approached it in the weak light of early evening. She'd taken her time getting back to the town, not wanting people to see her cry. She was angrier now that she had emptied her tears and she all but threw the reins at one of the stable boys. She glared daggers at guards as she passed them and yelled at the maid to get out of her room. Once she was alone, she looked down at her right hand and saw the small ring. It was disgusting now, she couldn't stand to look at it. Ripping it off her finger, she wrapped it in a scrap of cloth and wrote a note. In it, she wrote how she really felt of about everything that had happened, how she felt about Roe, how she really felt about him. It wasn't a pleasant letter by any means, and was filled with horrid language, but she felt better after writing it. Careful to not write any names, she attached it to the ring and threw it out the window as far as she could. If anyone found it, good for them. They could have it and use it any way they wanted. It landed in the courtyard, near the gates, but as far as Thea cared, it was out of her life now.