Coincidence (Roe)

[Isabella]

Isabella should have seen the rain coming. The clouds above her had been dark and brooding for some time, but she hadn't paid any attention to them. Now, as a soft rain began to fall, Isabella looked around the streets of Nottingham. She'd told her brother she was going to the dressmaker's as she needed something for the impending wedding of Prince John and Lady Rosetta Court, but had no real desire to have a new dress fitted.
The crowded houses around her threatened to collapse, groaning under the weight of what looked like thousands of years of service. The cobbles that lined the streets were slippery and wet, drops of water glinting on their surfaces.
The weather reflected her mood. Ever since she had parted with Roe a few days ago, she'd felt a strange sort of hollowness inside her. After what had been said and done, she couldn't help it. She blamed herself, she blamed Roe, she blamed fate. It still didn't solve any problems. Although they were both living in Nottingham castle at the moment, she had done her best to avoid him. They weren't supposed to know each other at any rate, and now she wondered if they even wanted to know each other any more.
Isabella had not brought a cloak with her, so she simply let the rain fall on her hair. She didn't care if it was ruined. She wandered through the streets, totally lost in thought, all thoughts of the dressmaker leaving her mind.

[Roe]

Roe had always preferred rainy, gray, and gloomy weather. It seemed to fit him much better. Also, he found that people were much less likely to bother you on days like this, it was easier to remain isolated. People were more concerned with running their errands, and getting them done, so they could get out of the rain. Roe just didn't look at it that way.

He saw the rain as a cleansing process, that was in fact, a pleasant and good process. He knew that most people just looked at it as one more obstacle that they had to overcome. Roe welcomed it. He went down to the stable and got Sherfore out, who the rain was a new experience for. Roe just rode with his basic uniform with his old brown cloak and no head-gear. He actually enjoyed getting soaking wet, and becoming one with world. He used to tell his comrades in Europe that it helped toughen his resistance to sickness.

He rode his Arabian slowly through the streets of Nottingham, and his thoughts drifted back to his encounter with Isabella, trying to imagine what had bothered her so much about what he had told her. It seemed to revolve around when he had talked about the girl that he had loved and had to leave. He didn't know if he hadn't explained it well enough.

He didn't know if it would have mattered if he had told her that he had been prevented from seeing her, that it was that he was of a weakened noble line and that he was a commoner, and that any marriage was seen as impossible .... that he had argued with them about it ... and finally frustrated had left vowing never to return because of what they had done. He had always thought a part of him had died the day he had left and he had tried to create a new life in Europe, when actually all that had had happened was that his rage made it easier for him to kill.

Or was Izzy simply jealous of another woman. Roe didn't have a clue. Roe had been so lost in thought that he did not see the woman cross in front of his horse's path. Fortunately, since they weren't travelling fast, he was able to avoid a collision. The woman, though, looked be a mess ..... she wasn't even wearing a cloak and her hair was almost as sopping wet as his. "My apologies milady .... why don't you climb upon my horse with me and I can take you somewhere where you can dry yourself out, eh?," he said with an arm extended.

[Isabella]

Isabella didn’t notice the clang of horse’s hooves on the cobbles of the street until they were right behind her. She didn’t bother to move away from the beast. But then she heard something that turned her blood to ice. A familiar voice said:
"My apologies milady .... why don't you climb upon my horse with me and I can take you somewhere where you can dry yourself out, eh?"
Her heart stopped beating for a full second as she realised just who it was. Roe. She closed her eyes and cursed her bad luck, wishing she could just run away from him. He mightn’t know that it was her. But, no, she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. She knew that there was no other option than to face him. She wasn’t going to be a coward. Not anymore.
So Isabella, feeling her body tense, opened her eyes and turned around. There was Roe, riding that striking Arabian horse, rain plastering his hair to his head, his hand stretched out towards her. She looked at him, her pale blue eyes filled with just how awkward she felt. Again came the urge to flee, but she fought it back, knowing what she should do.
“Thankyou,” she said quietly.
And took his hand. She felt a new surge of mixed-up emotions the moment she did so – embarrassment, anger, hope, sadness. She didn’t even know why she felt the way she did – Roe’s hand in hers seemed at that second to be all that there was.

[Roe]

Roe thought the way that she carried herself was familiar, but with the wet hair and no cloak he didn't really recognize her. He wondered, what normal person, and he definitely was not normal, would be out in weather like this anyway. He got the feeling for a few moments that whoever thi was was simply going to bolt off into the gloom.

Suddenly though the person seemed to stop, sigh, and slowly turn about, and face him. After he got over his momentary shock he said, "Isabella, what are you doing out in weather like this. I would not have thought this was something that you would do at all."

Almost as unexpectedly, as he extended his hand to hers, she quietly said, “Thank you.” Roe quickly brought her up into his saddle in one fluid motion, and sat her behind him. "Make sure you hold on tight to me. Yes ....around my middle .... I won't break. Where would you like to go milady," he said quietly. "Your wish is my command. I trust that I won't behave foolishly in your presence again."

[Isabella]

It was odd to be hoisted up onto the back of Roe’s horse. Isabella felt a sudden jolt as her arm was yanked upward and a swooping in her stomach as she landed on the saddle. She did as Roe told her, holding onto him tightly round his middle. She didn’t directly answer his question about what she was doing out there. Instead, at his comment that it wasn’t the sort of thing she would do, she replied:
“It isn’t – not normally.”
She wasn’t exactly sure what to say in response to his other question, though – as to where he should take her.
“I wasn’t going anywhere in particular,” she replied, “I was just… wandering, I suppose. But we can’t stay here. I’m not meant to know you, remember?”
The remembrance that Roe was a spy inside the castle made Isabella feel even more foolish. If anyone saw them, they might make the link between them and the outlaws. It would cast suspicion on herself and Roe at any rate, suspicion they could both do without. Especially considering what Robin was planning around the marriage of Prince John to Lady Rosetta Court. If anyone’s cover was blown, it rendered them useless to assist the outlaws during the wedding.
At Roe’s words: “I trust I won’t behave foolishly in your presence again,” Isabella felt compelled to say something.
“We both spoke in haste,” she stated quietly, almost shyly.
At least he too had thought on their last meeting – it had preyed on her mind constantly since he rode away from her that day. It still pained her to remember what her actions had been.

[Roe]

Roe had no idea how she would react to being hauled up onto his horse in this manner. He was at least mildly surprised that she offered as scant resistance as she did. Of course she didn't way very much, but Roe remembered fromtheir youth that she was deceptively strong and could, at least as a younster, fight like a hellcat. This told him that some part of her didn't mind this treatment too much. She also followed his instruction on how to hold on to him, and he had to say that her trip did have its pleasurable sensations as well.

"You were wandering in the rain .... I would guess that you were in deep thought about something or someone. I won't presuppose it was me .... I know that you have to have more significant figures in your life than me. However, given my role as a spy for Robin it would probably be best if we were not seen together in Nottingham. The lack of visibility in this mist is something we should take advantage of, and have us slip out of town undetected. If you have no objections I think I'll take you to the edge of the forest, and we can both dry out and talk under the thick canopy there."

As they first left Nottingham they had plodded at a slow pace, but as soon as they left the castle walls, Roe was up on the balls of his feet urging Sherfore on to a rapid canter as they moved closer to the Forest. As their ride progressed Roe' body became more an more synchronous with the roll of the horse as they moved down the Forest Road. Finally they reached destination and Roe brought the Arabian to a stop and jumped Dow, once again offering Isabella a helping hand down.

He led her over to a dry stump and set her down. He put his relatively dry cloak (except for its collar) around her to try and keep her both warm and dry. However, the next thing he did was to go over to her and took her chin between his right index finger and thumb and lifted her chin slightly, planting a firm but soft kiss on her lips and then kissing her in the lower forehead. "I will not kiss you again if you do not wish it. I gave you those kisses so that you know that you've always been loved and respected, especially by the village's poor carpenter boy."

[Isabella]

Isabella nodded in agreement at Roe’s plan as to where they should go, even though she was sitting behind him and he could not have seen it. When she realised this, she said:
“Alright,” and let him take her out of Nottingham. It had been a long time since she had ridden a horse like this before – Guy used to let her do it when she was a girl. The feeling was strange but at the same time enjoyable, the way she held tightly onto Roe, her fingers cold and numb as the rain fell onto them both, all the while feeling the powerful muscles of horse moving slowly out of the town. Then, once they were outside the castle walls, Roe kicked the horse into a fast canter towards the forest, and Isabella found herself clinging onto him as if she would never let go, the steady pounding of the horse’s hooves against the ground beating out a definite rhythm.
It wasn’t long before the trees were above them, blocking out the rain, and Roe pulled the horse to a stop. Feeling slightly shaken, she gladly took the hand he offered her once he was on the ground, and allowed him to lead her and sit her down onto the tree stump. Isabella was glad of the cloak he placed around her, already feeling warmer the moment it did so. What happened next surprised her deeply. She had thought that her previous conversation with Roe had made them grow further apart, that he disliked her and the way she had spoken to him. But then he took her chin between his finger and thumb and her heart beat faster, unsure of what he was going to do. She was so surprised and yet at the same time thrilled when he kissed her. This was the man who had been so brutal, now being so gentle.
It was not just that which surprised her – Roe’s words did also.
"I will not kiss you again if you do not wish it. I gave you those kisses so that you know that you've always been loved and respected, especially by the village's poor carpenter boy."
She had always been loved? The way that he said it made everything feel so much better, that thought the only one in her mind at that moment. She put a hand to Roe’s face and kissed his lips softly. Once, then again on is forehead as he had done to her.
“And I gave you those kisses that so you know that you’ve always had a place in the heart of the nobleman’s daughter, and that she always loved and respected you, even if she was too scared to tell you all those years ago,” she said.

[Roe]

Roe could have just rode his horse through the rain and the mist forever. It just felt so natural to be on the back of his horse with Izzy snuggled against his back. It brought memories of 20 years before when they had sneaked a horse out of the stables so he could improve his horsemanhip and ride with the noble's daughter. For a young carpenter's apprentice this noble girl had been both exciting and shy, whether on the back of a horse or experiencing their first kiss on a newly thatched roof in the village.

Even with all that he was not sure how this more mature Izzy would take to the long ride into the protection of the forest. He had even less of an idea of what they would say, if anything, to each other when they got there. However, once they did stop, every move that he made toward her, she did not protest, which encouraged him to take the next step and the next, until finally he offered her the kisses. When he gave her the first kiss and stepped back her face looked so vulnerable ... so open to either being hurt or simply accepting what would come next, whatever that might end up being.

Given that vulnerability he was somewhat surprised that she overcame her shock with an even softer return of his kiss, on hi lips and his already moist forehead. And after so much silence she finally spoke:

“And I gave you those kisses that so you know that you’ve always had a place in the heart of the nobleman’s daughter, and that she always loved and respected you, even if she was too scared to tell you all those years ago.”

"I have wondered whether you still remembered that first kiss we shared on the newly thatched roof in Locksley. I had just finished making it and I knew we couldn't be seen from where we laid in the center of the roof. You didn't seem to mind my forwardness on that day. Do you mind it today? And if you don't, where would you like me to go from here? I will stop if that is what you wish. What is Isabella's wish?," he asked as he brushed her wet hair back as he caressed the sides of her face and neck.

[Isabella]

Isabella felt Roe’s hands on her face and her drenched hair and felt that odd feeling in the pit of her stomach that accompanied it, her heart wanting him to just stay with her there, and her head trying to work out where they were headed, and what good could come of this. He said nothing for a moment before he asked:
"I have wondered whether you still remembered that first kiss we shared on the newly thatched roof in Locksley. I had just finished making it and I knew we couldn't be seen from where we laid in the center of the roof. You didn't seem to mind my forwardness on that day. Do you mind it today? And if you don't, where would you like me to go from here? I will stop if that is what you wish. What is Isabella's wish?"
As soon as he mentioned their first kiss, Isabella knew what it was she had been trying to remember. In her blurred memory, she was watching a sunset from a rooftop, the golden fields of Locksley stretched out before her. She could hear someone breathing next to her, and had wondered who it was – maybe Guy, she thought at first. But now it all came back to her. Of course, it had been Roe, a much younger Roe, with flaxen hair and tanned skin from his days out working in the sun. She had been so nervous then, but she was swallowed up with a wanting for him to kiss her, something which she had only just discovered at the time. And when he turned towards her, she’d thought that if he didn’t do it then, he never would. And he did.
Isabella could see the same look in his eyes now as she had then. It felt right that it was him she was with under the canopy of the trees, for he was the first person she had ever kissed. She wasn’t sure herself where she wanted to go from here – she felt like she was walking blindly into the dark.
“Can you tell me something?” she asked, knowing that she had to say this now, or she would never be able to, “The girl you loved – why did you leave her? Why did you go away to war if you loved her?”
It was the question that had to be asked, the thing she had to know there and then.

[Roe]

The more that Roe's hands and finger touched her face and hair the more that he wanted to run his fingers through her tresses and across her face. Although he wanted to continue to go further with her he could tell by the look on her face that she was internally going through a battle of thoughts and emotions. He sensed that she wanted him like she had wanted him those years ago, but there was something bothering her, something stopping her. However, he would not ask it, she would have to provide it. He was one who was into guessing games.

Finally he saw that look of courage and determination in her eyes, and she began to speak:

“Can you tell me something? .... The girl you loved – why did you leave her? Why did you go away to war if you loved her?”[/COLOR]

So .... that was the question. She had interpreted that story as one in which he had abandoned another .... and perhaps still loved another. "The answer to that, I'm afraid is both simple and complicated. Although I was being raised a commoner I was a lad of noble birth. It was fine if I saw her as a friend. However, when she was known to be with child that became a different issue."

"You see .... I did leave England .... but it was not that I left her .... she was taken from me .... to someplace unknown to me. A marriage .... at least in this instance .... was not possible between commoner and noble. In my anger I left my life here and went to another since there was nothing left for me here and nobody to trust .... except for Robin and Thornton, of course. I left for Europe."

"After a short time I received a message that she and the boy had perished in an epidemic. I don't know if it was true. That was when I sent word back, through my commander, that I had died. They wanted to sever all connections, I thought, then so would I. And that's the rest of that story."

Roe had no idea how she would react to that, but at least it was out in the open, he thought to himself.

[Isabella]

Isabella realised as she asked Roe what she had to ask that there were probably a lot of things about him she didn’t yet know, and a lot of things about her that he didn’t know yet, either. She questioned how wise her actions were, thinking back to what happened the last time she had followed her heart, not her head. What had happened between herself and Robin wasn’t right – but she had realised it in time, at least, and done something about it. Maybe she was making yet another mistake? Or maybe she shouldn’t worry so much about it.
But her anxiety began to fade away when Roe began to talk. She was relieved that he had answered her question without becoming angry or upset with her. She hadn’t known what his reaction would be – at worst, he might have hated her – but he didn’t, and she was glad. She listened to him silently, taking in what he was saying. It made things a lot clearer. So he hadn’t just abandoned this girl and sent word that he was dead – it was different – of course it was. Isabella felt guilty as she heard the full story, realising that when he had first told her of it, she had leapt to conclusions. She was sorry for making him go through what happened again, but knew that she could not just say nothing about it, not when that was between them. When Roe had finished the tale, she stayed silent for a moment, letting him stroke her hair and face and wanting him not to stop. She didn’t feel so worried anymore, not now that he had been truthful with her.
“I’m sorry,” was all she could think to say.

[Roe]

This part of his life was probably the most private part of Roe's life that he possessed. He had never talkd openly about it with anyone. There was just too much pain associated with it. He had no idea how he would react as he told it, Would the rage and anger come out, or would it come out emotionless as if it was about somebody else? Would she beleive it. He didn't know what she though and what her opinion was, because she said nothing until the very end. Roe was happy in that he had simply not broken down, that he had maintained the facade of strength and calm, when it all cut so deeply still. He realized that there was a lot of scar tissue there, but all he could do at this point was accept. But how did she feel and what did she think?

“I’m sorry.”

Roe stopped brushing her face and hair. "It was kind of you to listen to that. I doubt if I could have told that to anyone else. There's nothing for you to be or feel sorry for. It was not something you could have imagined or guessed. It damaged me. I could not be with a woman after that. It was too much of a risk .... a chance to expose myself like that again. I could though .... with my own first love ..... I guess it was unrealistic for me to hope for .... but we do have our hopes and dreams that we cling to .... don't we Izzy? I suppose you want to go back to the castle now, eh?"

[Isabella]

Isabella realised that Roe must have wanted to know what she was thinking, and knew that she should tell him. He’d just said how difficult it was to tell her what he had. She couldn’t let him go through that pain again without saying something that meant anything.
“Roe,” she began shakily, “I want you to know that nobody should have to suffer like you did. What happened wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for what you did. If you can love again, I will love you too.”
She looked at him and knew that she meant what she said, that she would love him if he was ready to move on and love again. He had spent so many years alone that the fear of being close to someone again must have settled into him and still stand at his very core.
A breeze picked up, and suddenly Isabella felt very cold again, even though she was wrapped in Roe’s cloak. Her hair was sopping wet, as was anything that had been exposed to the rain – her dress, her hands, her face. She needed to get back to the castle to dry herself out. Hopefully, no-one would notice her bedraggled state back there.
“Could you take me back to the castle?” she asked Roe.

[Roe]

"If you can love again, I will love you too.”

Roe did not know what to think when she gave him that answer, as well as the sympathy that had come before. As she was still sitting on the stump, he looked down into her eyes with his arms crossed. "Isabella, I thank you for your kind words and the sentiment you expressed. However, I would never want your love out of merely pity on your part. Love is sometimes earned and then freely given. I know you may not think it is pity now, but I would hate for you to look back at this day sometime in the future and realize that it was. You can do so much better than me, as I told you that afternoon so many years ago. I'm afraid the future I would offer is nowhere near as luxurious as you deserve."

Roe then heard her request and could see the logic of drying out in the castle. "Surely I will grant your request. We will travel slowly though. The wind rushing through your beautiful but wet air may bring sickness on to you. For that I Would never forgive you. By the way, now that we are both adults, what would you like me to call you. I sense you have outgrown Izzy, eh?"

[Isabella]

Isabella shook her head at Roe’s suggestion she loved him out of pity. It wasn’t like that at all, and she was sure of it.
“I could say the same of you,” she replied, “I could say you loved me only because I was the unfortunate daughter who was sold into marriage and suffered in it. But I don’t because I know that isn’t true. I trust you that you love me for who I am, but that trust has to be mutual.”
She listened to Roe as he told her they would travel slowly, and agreed with his logic. When he asked her what he should call her, she wasn’t too sure. Isabella seemed to formal, and Guy called her that, but then again, she had outgrown Izzy, as he rightly said.
“You can call me Bella,” she decided, “And as you’ve outgrown ‘Bobbie’ I hope you don’t mind my calling you ‘Roe’.”